Archive for the ‘Health and Nutrition’ Category

10p for a pimple

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

Time to refill the supplies. I was shopping in Sainsbury’s (big UK grocery chain for those that don’t know) the other day, replenishing my stock of nourishing goods when I remembered that I was out of shower gel. Off to the toiletries aisle to find some glossy sheen. Broken down into sections I found the “Men’s” section. Simple shower gel is all I wanted, but the sheer choice is daunting, every configuration, scent, and colour on display in a wide range of prices. The demographics of placement of goods on shelves are simple, the lower you go the cheaper you get. The poor, stooped in our posture as it is, always look down, could be a dollar down there. You can tell the class of the shopper simply by head posture, posh looks up, down-trodden looks down.

I scoured the shelves in search of some glittery gel to polish myself up with. I had settled on a manly looking bottle of “faux Caribbean splendour” when my eyes discovered the jackpot. At the very bottom of the shelves, mere millimetres above the dingy floor, was an entire section of 10pence shower gels, Sainsbury’s own! 10p for shower gel, how is it possible that the gel can be made, put in a container, and sold for only 10p? I was sceptical, not to mention somewhat leery of the institutional-green color of the stuff, so I turned it around the read the ingredients. Now I am not a scientist but 95% of the ingredients do not register in my head as being pronounceable words. But nonetheless a deal is a deal, it’s fun to be a guinea pig sometimes anyways, and if it was no good I could always throw it away right?

Heading home, I hopped into the shower to try out my new SUPER stuff. Container flipped over, lid open I squeezed out some slime, only for it to squeeze right back in again, a little shy are we? This was some strong, thick stuff, fix a ceiling leak perhaps? Overcoming the nuances of use (how does something so cheap afford nuance?) I eventually figured out how to get it out and lather with it. It was pretty goby all-right, but hey, 10p remember?

End of shower I was satisfied enough with it that I decided to spread the gospel of the 10p shower gel. We’re in a credit crunch, time to save our pennies and cut back, I’m just being a savvy frugal-ist. So impressed at what I was getting for 10p that anyone coming into my path was up for a green stuff sales pitch. Sceptical eyes abounded, but hey it works, look how shiny I am, here, smell me, no really, don’t be shy. And so it was that I went on using the gel for a few weeks. Then came the punch line, me!

 At the gym doing some standing squats, I looked at my femur (lower leg, come-on now people!) and there was this strange red mark. I must have cut myself I concluded, an itchy cut mind you. Workout done it was time to examine my blemish. A cut you say? T’was not a cut at all, it was a pimple! A bright glowing pimple, on my leg! Who gets pimples on their legs? Contagious for sure for over the next few days, the pimple brigade began to spread, but only to curious places. My bicep, my chest, my forearms and my inner ear! Yes, inside my right ear was a bright red pimple.

Woe is me, after careful self deliberation I came to the only logical conclusion, I had paid 10p for a pimple growing serum. With none of the benefits but all the side effects of a cycle of Steroids, I abandoned my miracle 10p “stuff”. I now stand pimpled declaring, 10p shower gel, sure it exists, but do not under ANY circumstance go near it. Defy the experts, pay through the nose and get some REAL shower gel, your pimple free leg will thanks you greatly. You’ll have to excuse me now; it’s time to drain my ear!

Pimple of the leg

Blurry Eyed

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

So there I was blurry eyed and heeding to the call of nature. There’s always a point midway through my glorious slumerfests that I awake, unsure as to the reason. After careful consideration, and ruling out every other possibility I always come to the same conclusion, I must meet nature head on. So there I was emptying the bladder, at 5 in the morning (these watering breaks are never at a convenient time). The sun rises early in the UK, by 4:30 it’s as light outside as midday and the body is ready to go. Finishing my deed I went and washed my hands, hygiene is next to godliness they say; though for me it’s just an assurance that I’m not carrying any dribbles. At any rate, hovering over the sink, hands under water I made the mistake of looking up. There I was, face to face with myself. Shocking! When did a man get so old looking anyways? Now granted, no-one really looks good at 5 am, and if you do, the question then becomes why?

Aging is part of the game of life, unavoidable; it’s coming on strong daily. Every moment we creep on just a little bit more. The changes really are so subtle that our daily exposure to ourselves keeps the nuances of change under wraps. But for whatever reason, on this particular occasion it was quite shocking. The gray is starting to creep on, strand by strand, I like to think it makes me more distinguished looking, yet once it gets hold there’s no reversing direction.

The maturing process is all about accepting things, finding some sanctity within them and moving on. We’re all going through this process, friends, peers, family and everyone in between. This is one of the glorious aspects of Facebook, you can check out how everyone else is dealing with their own battle. A little voyeurism is good, there’s always someone doing a whole lot worse than you.

So there I was 5 am, staring at the gray, at the crevasses which were staring right back at me. At 5 am there is nothing on your mind save for the desire to get it back into wondrous dreamland. Thus when a conscious thought creeps in, there’s nothing to block it out and help you forget this man in the mirror, very unagreeable at this ungodly hour, so I did the best I could, turned my back on him! Crawling back into bed, I tossed and turned as I did a quick life review. Somewhere in all those twists and turns I gave myself this roadmap of lines that I was now adorned with. Freak-out at 5am, Yoga breathing to the rescue. Slowly I faded away into slumber, quickly falling into a dream about being 24 again, and then the nightmares began! Ah yes, 24, this is why I have all these lines! Smile on my face I sidestepped the woe and got back to business, because I need my beauty sleep more than ever!

Tired Eyes

Free day Glorious Free day

Friday, June 13th, 2008

Free day, what is a free day? For me it’s a reprieve from the constraints of a fairly (highly!) structured day to day existence. I work out, do a little running, and eat a diet high in protein and fruit and vegetables that through trial and error I’ve established over the years. A normal day consists of a few (sometimes 3 or 4) protein shakes, some oatmeal, a BIG salad with egg whites and quark, as my previous post will attest to. Now come the free day, all these food groups are represented plus more, much more.

Today was one of those fortunate “free” days, King Henry the 8th, my dear rotund friend, you would be proud. Dining in an upscale Spanish Tapas restaurant that is a London foodie destination was definitely the right place to fall off of the wagon; fell so hard in fact that the weight of the fall left quite a severe impression on the landscape, belly included. With a $70 credit, courses were ordered. Every fringe diet from Atkins (2 orders of lamb shops AND beef) to cacao overdosing (chocolate cake, mmmm) was followed. The food kept coming, in waves, just finishing the last morsels when the next dish arrived.

We ate, then ate, then ate some more, it was gluttony in all its glory. Butter, melted cheese, gooey chocolate and thick ice cream, it was a case of going downhill spiralling out of control and just letting destiny take its course.

The whole idea of a “free” day is to consume as much as you can of things that you would never rationally consider otherwise. Butter on top of chocolate? Sounds perfect! Cheese melted on deep fried vegetables? At least 3 please. And so I fell into my free day face first, residual chocolate still smeared across my lips!

The best way to cope with healthy eating? Throw in a “free” day, every 7 days or so and you’ll find putting up with brown grains and egg whites are a snap. I can do 6 egg whites on Tuesday when I know that half a chocolate cake is coming on Sunday! Try it out, I dare you!

Chocolate Lips